The Hell Of My Existence



The Hell of my Existence

All alone I remain in these shadows…
No one around to love and to hold
Only those around that are full of hate and scold.
It’s a long way it’s a long time

Being alone and not well is not fun
Growing ill everyday is supposed to happen to the old
I don’t understand why my universe has to fold
I don’t have the energy to be bold.

People wore me out; people never gave me a chance
They never gave me a chance for my little bold whatever,
Light illuminate the world; they just shoved me in the corner
They just swept me under the carpet.
Then walked over me as if nothing happened.

I don’t understand what happened, the gradual growing silence
The gradual growing neglect, the gradual growing “Big” Forget.
What I do wrong? What is going on? Are you O.K?
I guess it may be the global depression effect on them...or
I guess it may be that they no longer want me...or
I guess it may be that they found me a worthless loser... or
I guess it may be that they also fighting for life...

Fighting for life, in what way it may be described…
Financially, medically or Fighting for acceptance, to be seen and to be heard
To be part of something, and not the whole large nothing,
To be something, and not a little nothing…

Some of us may not get the chance or exposure to change the world…
We get ignored and look down at because we are different…
Anyway, I am not quite human in the first place…
No wonder the difficulty…

Its awful being alone, and ill at the same time…

Danielle C Lamb (Zana)
08/June/2008 her second virus infection



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Copyright Danielle C Lamb

 (Zana Elfy, Zana International)