Operation Pantaloon
Since I have been given some help with my problems, I have been given an exercise of doing pantaloons, since I have never quite gone back into my art and such since the large amount of rejection that had been thrown at me, be it government with its policy preventing me to go into university, be it people who don’t understand me, and think the worst of me, be it discrimination and predudism.. No one had given me the chances to completely heal , the government does not give a flying fuck, deviantArt does not give a flying fuck, Hentai Foundry does not give a flying fuck, since my wellbeing was overlooked… I thank the few friends I have who have been good support and help through this and have not betrayed me by making things worse. I am glad that a trans and intersex group is starting in Sunderland, since the one in Newcastle I found was unreliable and packed with predudism, towards the intersexed and other transgenders.
So I would be writing  three pantaloons and do them all in one day, first focusing on my emotions on how I feel with the rejection, then secondly about the dream I had last night and then about a calming encounter with the neighbours cat, then Friday’s exercise which was about a dream with Anananiah.

Rejection, Pain, the struggle of my life

Rejections, Pain, the struggle of my life, connective nodes to creativity are shattered.
Feel alone and isolated, tossed in the corner, treated like dirt.
I feel I had been thrown on the skip emotionally and made to appear as a monster by others.
The Pain inside me boils as I try and create, afraid to be rejected on what I create.
Feel alone and isolated, tossed in the corner, treated like dirt.
I have personally been censored from my friends, a policy violation to stupidity.
The Pain inside me boils as I try and create, afraid to be rejected on what I create.
Numbed and instable, I even get rejected from society they force me to wear a mask of normality.
I have personally been censored from my friends, a policy violation to stupidity.
Banned from places, restricted on facebook, rejected funding by government, exhibition fucked.
Numbed and instable, I even get rejected from society they force me to wear a mask of normality.
I press on, bashing through stupid policy and ignorance, I have innocence and truth on my side.
Rejections, Pain, the struggle of my life, connective nodes to creativity are shattered.
 

The dream of being on in a terraformed waterworld.

1) I woke under water, swimming around, with beautiful fish and plants.
2) I was able to breathe the water with the body I had, I swam deep into the shallow ocean.
3) I swam in-between the rain bowed coloured plants, and followed the grey flatfish.
4) The fish are fish that you would not see on earth, intergalactially exotic.
2)I was able to breath the water the body I had, I swam deep into the shallow ocean.
5) I rapidly swam up along the sand banks of the island and wriggled myself onto the beach.
4) The fish are fish that you would not see on earth, intergalacticially exotic.
6) Colours and beauty, amazement it felt so real, I was lightyears away in dream.
5) I rapidly swam up along the sand banks of the island and wriggled myself onto the beach.
7)I discovered I was in an amphibious body form, I don’t know what I looked like.
6) Colours and beauty, amazement it felt so real, I was lightyears away in dream.
8)I discovered the creators of the life on this planet were actually terrestrial.
7)I discovered I was in an amphibious body form, I don’t know what I looked like.
3) I swam in-between the rain bowed coloured plants, and followed the grey flatfish.
8)I discovered the creators of the life on this planet were actually terrestrial.
1) I woke under water, swimming around, with beautiful fish and plants.
 

The Encounter with the neighbour’s cat.

1) I heard meowing outside my kitchen window; I meowed in sync to the cat outside.
2) I meowed, the cat meowed, and I went outside to meet the neighbour’s cat, black and beautiful.
3) I sat on the lawn the cat came running towards me with a purr distorted meow.
4) The cat came purring into my arms, I purred in response, the cat looked in my eyes amazed.
2) I meowed, the cat meowed, and I went outside to meet the neighbour’s cat, black and beautiful.
5) The cat stared into my eyes, and winked, amazed at the fact a two legged walker can purr.
4) The cat came purring into my arms, I purred in response, the cat looked in my eyes amazed.
6) The cat rubbed its chin all over my body, purring frantically and matched my purr.
5) The cat stared into my eyes, and winked, amazed at the fact a two legged walker can purr.
7) A moment of time of knowing, between myself the and the cat, it respected my difference.
6) The cat rubbed its chin all over my body, purring frantically and matched my purr.
8) The cat knew that I was not of this world, but part of its world , it trusted me dear.
7) A moment of time of knowing, between myself the and the cat, it respected my difference.
3) I sat on the lawn the cat came running towards me with a purr distorted meow.
8) The cat knew that I was not of this world, but part of its world , it trusted me dear.
1) I heard meowing outside my kitchen window; I meowed in sync to the cat outside.